Chakra Con

My oldest kid, Lola, has asthma, eczema, minor hairloss, and sinusitis. Houston, it's not worth it. Carlos and I are convinced that the damp weather and poor air quality are contributing factors. We visited an acupunturist today and he had Lola sit on my lap and hold single viles of allergens. While Lola held a vile, I raised my arm and the acupuncturist tried to push it down. Whenever my arm was weak, he associated the weakness with a reaction to the substance. Lola thought the whole thing was a laugh riot, and decided to announce "I farted" on multiple occasions. Carlos, my new agey hubbie, seemed to like the doctor, especially when he found a copy of Alexander Grey's book on the shelf, with forward by Ken Wilber and Carlo McCormick, the triumvirate of wisdom. For some reason Carlos handed me a book on tantric sex for women.

At the end of the tests, the doc recommended that Lola eliminate wheat, sugar, milk and cheese. No more cheese blintzes, chocolate croissants, or Newman O's. He also prescribed a number of tinctures and mysterious homeopathic drops. Fingers and chakras crossed.